Doctor

Oh little sicky, seems to be the pain
Got all these herbs, don’t mean a fucking thing
I am the little witch, with the magic tricks
Mistrust the white house, come and get your fix
It’s not about the numbers, what you feel is real
Crystals, rays of light, the taste of orange peel

South
AQT73
5
AQ5
KQ62

That’s a decent 17-count. I open 1 and this is what happens:

West
North
East
South
 
 
 
1
pass
31
pass
42
pass
43
pass
64
a.p.
 
 
 
  1. 6-crd suit, exactly invitational
  2. Slam try
  3. Cue
  4. Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming

We don’t cue singletons in partner’s suit, so I could picture Kees with King-small in , AJ-6th in and possibly some useless red quack. Sometimes it’s so easy to count to twelve: 

South Dealer
NS Vul
North
K6
962
J8
AJT843
West
954
KJ843
K742
7
East
J82
AQT7
T963
95
South
AQT73
5
AQ5
KQ62

A perfect dream.

You might wonder why I didn’t splinter in to get my slam aspirations across. I thought any pointy King would make slam pretty much lay down. If Kees had something like a 2-3-2-6 with the King instead of the King, he can discard his loser on my Queen. But if I splinter in he might be unable to show it.

Surreal.